Free Range Stories


“We write to taste life twice; in the moment and in retrospection.”   Anais Nin

Stories and poems written in Guided Autobiography class

Voice by Holly Bertram
It's Saturday morning. I'm sitting at the dining room table; the flame of the gas wall heater next to me is making familiar purring sounds. It’s warm and cozy here. I'm using the clustering method and I have so many ideas written down. I feel somewhat proud.

I'm reminded of my voice. I'm ten. I'm belting out "Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer" while lying on the backseat of my parents yellow 1958 hardtop Thunderbird. My brother is driving; mom's in the front seat. We're driving to Lakewood, Ohio from Pompano Beach, Florida, mostly on two lane US highways. It's a very long trip.

Jeff only has his permit but Mom lets him drive. Once he stops too suddenly and I land on the floor. I sing the verses, "Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer", over and over again the whole trip, except for an occasional nap or when my voice becomes hoarse. I'm an annoying ten year old according to my brother. But boy, can I sing. 

My 4 year old Granddaughter, Ryn, loves to sing. No one can stop her from singing, just like her grandma as a young girl. Once she's buckled in her car seat, she'll ask for one of her favorite CD's to be played. She sings along with feeling and enthusiasm. She knows the words of Frozen, Let it Go, Jonah and Whale songs. My daughter sent me a video of Ryn singing Adele's Hello. I love listening to her powerful little voice.

I started driving a school bus this year, a short one, an EC bus. EC means exceptional children. I like saying that instead of handicap bus. The afternoon route of my first day, the adult rider/helper said, “You're going to love the last stop”. I thought for a second and said, “You mean, I won't like it?" He said with a little laugh, "Right". He didn't tell me why. 

It's the very last stop and I have to back down a narrow, steep one lane road, passing two front yards to get to where I stop, all the while missing two mailboxes and a ditch on either side. Did I sign up for this? I remember when I took the school bus driving course 30 years ago. I was taught you never back up more than a few yards. When the bus is in reverse a backup alarm makes a continuous beeping, a strobe light and caution lights are blinking so you can't miss seeing the bus. 


I have the bus ready to back up. I'm stressed.  I've never backed up this far.  I know this isn't safe or appropriate. The driver before me put the bus in neutral and would coast.  That sounded totally crazy to me.  Using my side mirrors for guidance, my rider gives me assistance.  I back up very slowly until the bus door lines up with the driveway.  I'm relieved.  the boy exits and I drive away.

When we return to school, I'm anxious to make a change to this situation.  I speak to the principal.  He understands.  My principal said he'd contact the bus garage in the morning as changes can't be made without their approval.  My voice was heard.  Turns out it was an unofficial stop.  I only had to back up two more afternoons while the parents made other arrangements.


Where is heaven?    By Jeanie Martin
Growing up, my family attended the First Presbyterian Church in New Bern, N.C.  On Sunday I would be dressed in in a hand-me-down dress from one of my sisters who may have received it from one of our cousins, which meant by the time it made to me it would be faded and worn.   I could have cared less about the dress because what excited me was that this was the one day of the week that I could wear my patent leather, flip-strap, Mary Jane shoes.  I was born with feet issues and every other the day of the week I had to wear heavy oxfords with arch supports.  My brother said that I looked like I was wearing Frankenstein shoes.  I begged my mother to let me wear the Mary Janes with the straps flipped to the back so that my shoes would look like fancy, grown-up slip-ons but she always said no because they would “eat up my socks”.  

After everyone was dressed and hair was combed, we piled into the Rambler and headed downtown to church. On the first day of my Kindergarten Sunday School class, my mother escorted me to a classroom in the basement. The room had tiny chairs placed into a half-circle and the teacher Mrs. Huggins welcomed me to her class.  As I watched the last bit of my mother’s hem round the corner, my mild anxiety dissolved at the site of animal cracker boxes and juice.  Other children’s little hands were passed from their mothers to Mrs. Huggins and we settled into our seats for our Bible story and lesson.  

I don’t remember the details of the lesson but I do remember the picture that Mrs. Huggins showed us. She held up a print of a child in a field looking up.  Peeking down out of the clouds was a man with long white hair and a white beard and a kindly smile.  I got excited thinking that our lesson was going to be about Santa Claus.   Mrs. Huggins said this was God who was our father in heaven.   She said that he loved all his children very much and if we were good then when we died, we would live with him forever in heaven.   

I remember being confused about God being my father as my father worked at Eddie Webb’s Shoe Store on Middle Street and he didn’t look anything like the man in the clouds.   And besides that, I didn’t plan on dying any time soon.  After the lesson we pulled our chairs up to little tables, took crayons out of a cigar box and colored pictures of angels who also lived in heaven with God our father.  

After we got home, we ate Sunday brunch prepared by my father, the one that worked at the shoe store. He didn’t go to church.  My mother said that his Sunday morning church was reading the newspaper without all of us bothering him.  My mother and I then went out to work in our garden.  We had a big vegetable garden and my mother knew all about growing food.  She showed me which plants were the weeds and how to pull them out so that the roots didn’t break off. 

Still thinking about heaven, I looked up into the sky and asked my mother where exactly heaven was. She stopped for a moment in the middle of the squash vines, looked around the garden and said, “Right here.” I liked the idea of heaven being in our garden where we weren’t dead and everything smelled so good.   And since I believed that my mother knew everything about everything, gardens became my idea of heaven and they still are.   

After all the preaching and teachings I have heard in my life in regards to the 3 story Universe of heaven, Earth and hell, I wonder how things might have been different if we all had been taught that heaven was right in our backyards.  How would we have cared for Earth if we knew that God lived in the squash patch and the only white-haired man in the sky was Santa Claus? 


Restaurant by Georgina Holmes 
It was England; 1947.  The war was over and all those who had been overseas were now back where they belonged, which I supposed included us.  We were a family of strangers.  My brother came back to England from India when he was eleven.  He was now twelve. I had known him for one year.  Father, whom I had never known, returned as an angry and unhappy man. 

He had hoped to die with his boots on.  Now he was obliged to join the group that he most despised; civilians.  He had recently married a woman whom neither my brother nor I had ever met.  She had a daughter, a very precious daughter, the same age as myself; sixteen years old but from such a different mold.  Our dysfunctional family now lived together in a three-bedroom apartment in Central London.

My brother was allocated a room half way down the stairs.  It had been used as a broom closet.  Very little was clear other than the lack of communication, the lack of understanding, even the lack of genuine good will.  I remember when my father was told by his new wife to take my brother and I to lunch, as she and her daughter would not be home.

I thought hopefully, “Oh, perhaps we might visit this new place with the wonderful smells called The Brasserie!”  I mentioned this hesitantly because I was mostly terrified of father’s reactions.  My remark was met with, “Don’t be so disgusting.  What are you thinking?”  I was duly cowed.  I remained puzzled and silent and considered that maybe he thought I said, “Brassiere”.  In a numbed state of mind, we waited to see where we would go.

To our surprise, he called a taxi.  Why, I wondered?  Our neighborhood was littered with restaurants?  We got in and set off.  In about 20 minutes, we arrived and were stunned to find ourselves at the Savoy Hotel?  Father strode purposefully forward with us following timidly behind.  The doorman bowed as we entered into the grandest and most glittering hall we’d ever seen; with high ceilings and at least six huge chandeliers.  Still trying to fathom father’s mind, we noticed a grillroom on the side and a coffee bar.  Maybe.. but no?  We were escorted to the main dining room!  

On entering, we were swept away to a far table by waiters in white uniforms floating silently around like a flock of doves from table to table, leaving three to hover behind our chairs.  They pressed a menu in our hands and deferentially handed a list of drinks to father.  I was so confused, so benumbed, that I could not even read the menu.  Father had that effect on me.  He seemed to paralyze my brain. After a long silence, I heard him tell the waiter, “We’ll have two baked beans on toast and one martini.”

Where did he come up with this; certainly not the menu?  We ate in silence, struggling to swallow our baked beans.  Did he think we were still six years old?  Peggy, his wife, commented later that he must have had a flashback to nursery tea with his Nanny.  While we ate, father sipped his martini and contemplated the menu.  I considered that as soon as he delivered us back to the flat, that he would be off to his beloved Army and Navy Club to have a splendid lunch with yet another martini.

Although my thinking process was challenged, I felt I knew exactly what he was thinking.  He considered that he had done his fatherly duty and so with a clear conscience and a sigh of relief, he could go back to those who knew him best; certainly not his family!  He would be comfortable surrounded by his own well-trained wait staff; so anxious to fulfill his every need.
JUGS by Roger Burns


Not all jugs are created equal – jugs of “apple pie” that is. This little jewel 


happened in the woods of North Georgia just after the comet hit that killed all 


the dinosaurs! “Apple pie” is an adult drink made from real apple cider, rum, 


spices, butter and usually rum!



I’d guess there were about a dozen of us sitting around the fire that evening 


and six or so jugs of pie being passed around. There was one jug that was 


GOOD, real good. It got late and I guess we were all feeling the effect of the 


“ground softener.” For sure I was. I quit passing the good jug – kept it for 


myself. That’s where my memory failed. The next morning, I came-to finding 


myself tied to a pine tree, as if an atomic hangover wasn’t enough.


After a bit, the burly Georgia boy who supplied the “good” jug came over 


and untied me. He said, “Hell, you kept getting up and falling in the fire. I 


tied you up to keep ya from being burned alive.” He went on to explain that 


jug was made with shine – high gravity shine at that.




Deconstructing Goldilocks 
               A published piece by Karen Jackson

Ugly old woman or girl with fair
hair? Lost in the woods or lured
into the forest? Whichever

version of the tale you choose,
the chair breaks, the broth spills
and the bed is filled with a babe

who does not belong
there, in that room,
with those bears

and no matter how many homes
one peers into, none are justrightand many a mother

has told a daughter, it doesn’t matter
if your bed is too soft or too hard,
“If you make it, you have to lie in it.”

And lie in it Goldilocks did,
through two centuries
as bards altered her from

hag into naughty child with silver
then golden hair, and then into a lass
eating porridge, plumping pillows

because too many stories featured
nasty old crones, and the once
frightful tale of a mother

rescuing her daughter from grizzlies
became a damsel longing for hearth,
dating one man, too hot, another too cold,

a third just right, until she wakes in his bed,
jumps from the story, and exits through
a window that has always been open.


       One: An Online Poetry Journal.Issue 17: January 15, 2019

 

CONSIDER THE SEMICOLON 

Did you happen to catch the view of the Moon and Venus in the western sky earlier this month? They were aligned like a semicolon. Astronomers call it a conjunction when that happens. It isn’t rare, but it is somewhat ironic considering grammar dictates a semicolon is never used with a conjunction.

 

What is rare is that anyone actually uses the semicolon. Most people don’t understand it, despite the fact that it is deceivingly simple. A semicolon connects two sentences that are related but grammatically independent. It also links lists of items. I would venture to say the semicolon is more popularly used today as a sly wink emoticon rather than as a mark of punctuation.

 

I don’t use it very often myself, given my predilection towards em-dashes and ellipses. The formal semicolon doesn’t fit the loosey-goosey rhythm I aspire to in my writing. I don’t dislike the semicolon; I just don’t think much about it. 

 

Many writers, surprisingly, have purposefully turned their back on the semicolon. Gertrude Stein felt it nothing more than a pretentious comma. George Orwell claimed it was an unnecessary pause. The late Kurt Vonnegut went so far as to label the semicolon a transvestite hermaphrodite that stands for absolutely nothing. All a semicolon does, he said, is show you’ve been to college.

 

It wasn’t always that way. The semicolon was innovative back in 1494 when a Venetian by the name of Aldus Manutius added it to a font set he developed. Venice at that time was the “Silicon Valley” of the printing world, full of new ideas and commercial competition, mainly because the city recognized and encouraged freedom of the press. Punctuation was used to guide oratorical pauses while reading books. The comma meant pause and count one. A semicolon meant pause and count two. The colon meant pause and count three. A period meant pause and count four.

 

The semicolon became chic when English writers took it up in the 16th and 17th centuries, but later, grammar historians – yes, they exist – noted that these English writers just couldn’t resist burdening the written word with too much punctuation. Think Shakespeare with all the breaths and pauses from commas and semicolons.

 

By the mid-1800s, the purpose of the semicolon evolved to reflect the joining together of contrary thoughts. Expressive Romantic writers and poets of the period were experimenting with a new type of prose. They used dashes, for example, to add some pizazz and create a way for their thoughts and words to jump off the page. Technology in the form of the telegraph also encouraged people to change how they used punctuation quite simply because each mark cost the same as a full word. 

 

By the early 20th century, American schoolbooks had begun to encourage boys and girls to use a period between two independent clauses rather than joining them with a semicolon. The semicolon had become “dowdy.”

 

With today’s decreased attention to detail and the rise of text messaging and Twitter, I can see why many report the death of the semicolon by irrelevance. If you think about it, all punctuation has been relegated to second screen status on our mobile devices.

 

Does this mean all punctuation is doomed to the same fate as the semicolon? I’m not ready to make such a bold prediction because I see so much of our communication moving towards writing, albeit in smaller electronic bites. Seriously, does anyone talk on the phone anymore? All I hear anymore is the insect-like patter of typing.

 

We’re living in an era of great change where everyone texts, tweets, and emails in real time because that’s what’s expected. The irony is that in such a world, digital punctuation becomes increasingly important, conveying much about the sender’s tone and intent. Yet all the rules of grammar are off the table.

 

I see the astrological alignment of the Moon and Venus as a sign to reconsider the semicolon, i.e. a call to slow down and truly communicate with people. If a particularly bright star could awaken the world to the birth of a new religion, who knows what using semicolon might do for our relationships.



BEYOND BELIEF by Arlene Russell
Tuesday morning I pick Koda up from Hal and Constance’s house in Arden. They are heading to Buffalo, New York and Koda is staying with me for the week. 

After a quick stop for fruit and vegetables at Harris Teeter, we head back to my condo. Sitting near the entrance is a young homeless man.  A black and white Jack Russell is cuddled up next to him. 

The dog draws me in. After a few pleasantries about his dog, Rasha, I settle myself on the sidewalk to continue our conversation. I offer to buy him lunch. He hesitates. “That would be very generous of you. I just had breakfast though.”   

He looks at me, turns his gaze to the sky, and continues, “I’m worried about the hurricane. It’s heading our way… I don’t think my tent will be a good place to ride out this storm. It’s set up in the woods near by.”

He talks a bit about the hazards of unauthorized ‘camping’. Between the possibility of police rousting him or people stumbling across his site - slashing his tent, it doesn’t sound good but it appears to be all he and Rasha have at the moment. 

Rasha is in a trance as I scratch under her chin.  I listen as her owner continues his story. He grew up here in Hendersonville and is back now after falling on hard times down in Florida.  

“Would you be offended if I give you some money?”, I say.   
“No” he says.
Checking my wallet, I find I only have a couple of singles. 
“Look. I’m going to run in and do some quick shopping. I will be able to get some cash when I check out.”

We continue to talk about his prospects. 

“I have a few things in the works”, he says, meaning friends who might be able to take him in during the storm. I tell him about the 7thAvenue Shelter. 

“Hmmm... can’t do that. I can’t leave my dog. She is everything to me. We've been together for six years. I can’t leave her with just anyone.”

He shows me his hand and the stitched up slash across his palm; a work related accident. 

“I’m not afraid to work. I want to get off the street and have things. It’s just a bad time right now.” 

Finally, my brain clicks into gear! I had made a stop at the bank to cash a dog sitting check. I do have money! “I just remembered I have some money in my car. I’ll be right back!”

As I head to my car, an elderly woman calls to me from her vehicle, “What is that young man’s story?” Rattling off a pocketful of words, I finish with, “It’s so hard to know what to do, but I am going to my car to get some money for him.”

After a few words with her husband, she gets out of her car and walks toward the young man.

Lovely story, isn’t it? But this is only the first layer. Underneath the Hallmark façade is a different ‘truth’ buried beneath an impressive amount of garbage. Approaching my car, I hear yet another voice.

“You don’t really believe him, do you? I think he is playing you. The cute dog is a nice touch. You are such a sucker. A regular ‘Do Gooder’!  And now you are going to give him money?  How much?

“I don’t know...$40? Or $60?”

“Are you kidding me? Good lord, you just want to make a good impression. I know you…you showoff.”

Opening the bank envelope, I debate,  “$40?...No, $60! It has to mean something…hurt a little. Giving $20 is too easy. $60 is better.”

Walking back to the young man, I see the older women handing him something - money, I presume.

“I wonder how much SHE is giving him?” 
“So that’s why you opted for $60…you didn’t want to be out done by this interloper. Oh, look. She’s talking to him. YOU talked to him first. Well, I bet you are giving him way more than she is. Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and tingly?”

“Shut the F’k up!”

“Oh, you are precious! Touchy, touchy! Did I hit a nerve? You do know these are all your own thoughts, don’t you?”

Reaching him, I palm three $20 dollar bills into his hand.  He looks up with a shy smile and thanks me.

“Did he see how much you gave him? What did she give him? Wait…what are you doing?”

I wish him well, lean over and kiss him on the forehead.

CUT! That’s a wrap folks!

“Damn! You are right! I am all about the image. Damn! I hate that about myself …the part that watches, judges and gages the impact…WITNESSING MYSELF WITNESSING!  Why can’t I just be present!?”

“Because you’re a fake.  Playing for the ‘GOD’ cam in the sky. Piling up points.” After a slow, drawn out exhale, the voice mutters, “You make me sick.”

“Me, too,” I sigh.   “At least I DID something! Doesn’t THAT count for. …Anything?”

“Noooo. It’s all about motivation…and yours is laced with selfishness and self-aggrandizement. You started out O.K.…with the dog, but it slid down hill after that. Fast and deep into the netherworld.”  

“You’re right. I could see it all as it was happening. That’s the thing though. How do I pull back gracefully before the moment morphs and looses its soul? How do I turn it around? Is it too late at that point?”

“You are hopeless. Why do I bother?”

“What? WHAT???

“You are still doing it…trying too hard to do “IT” right.  Perfection is not the point. It is not even a direction or goal. All this is a trap and you fall into it every time. By the way, do you remember the last thought you had as you drove out of the parking lot?”


“Yes, I do. I was wondering if I had fallen for a scam. But I figured, so what. Even if this is how he makes money, I can live with that. Better to be open and foolish than closed and stingy.” 

“There it is AGAIN. THAT is what I am talking about.”

“What ARE you talking about? You’ve lost me! You are NOT making any sense.”

“You are still THINKING, hedging your bet, figuring out a positive angle. It never stops with you.”

“What other way is there? Consciousness is a good thing. Choosing a better path…rising above my lower nature…can’t do THAT if I am unconscious.”

Silence.

“Finally!   That shut you up.”

More silence floods in on me, setting a chilly wave of goose flesh up the back of my neck leaving me wondering. 

Hours later, the flicker of a thought plays out across the choppy surface of the pond where I am sitting, dissecting the morning’s encounter. Replaying each beautiful and sickening moment as it swirls through my muddied mind.

When did life get so complicated, devious and manipulative? When had my brain assumed control over my heart? 

On turning 70, three years ago, I felt the corrosive change burrowing bone deep, but didn’t know what it was. I am now 73 and I know the answer.  And it frightens me. It didn’t happen all at once and I was fooled into thinking it would never happen to me.

In childhood, I vowed to never grow up. To always see life through the eyes of my inner child; with joy and innocence. She died three years ago leaving me behind, trapped in the body of an old woman with a frozen, empty heart to live… 

“Pst!   You are beyond belief.  O.K. Drama Queen, we still have a lot of work to do.




PARADOX  by Nancy K
I am…

A deep surface
A selfish giver
A special nobody
A successful failure
A law-abiding criminal
A needy loner
A conservative risk-taker
A submissive dominant
A sensitive bully
A healthy invalid
A living corpse
A conventional free-spirit
A pretty monster
A respectable adulteress
A judgmental outcast
A narcissistic inferior 
A permanent mask
A willful servant
A genuine phony
A social alcoholic
A fat anorexic
A solo partner
A silent conversationalist
A worthless plutocrat
A conforming rebel
A resentful altruist
A promiscuous monogamist
A frigid hussy
A liberal authoritarian
A dependent caretaker
A rational fantasist
A brilliant moron
A controlling follower
A humble egotist
A powerful victim
A godless disciple
A faithless believer
A depraved angel
A perfect human

The Stranger in the Backyard by Diane Rhoades

 

Paul and I pedal through waves of honeysuckle and wild rose scented air.  


Heading to town for Japanese food, we ride our bikes past a man sitting crossed 


legged on the grass.  He is barefoot and draped in a white cloth.  He sits on what 


would have been the front lawn of an elegant ruin of a house that burned down 


years ago.  The concrete stairs are all that remain.  They look like a small stage. 


The dark skinned man sits there reading in the shade. 



 

Getting off our bikes like aging cowboys, Paul says, “That was amazing, seeing 


that man back there.”  “I know”, I agree, “beautiful... like human art,” We head 


inside to eat sushi and drink Sapporo beer.  Paul tells me that the Sapporo can is 


exhibited in the Guggenheim.  He points out that the shiny grooved Sapporo beer 


can is considered art.  I don’t think so.  



 

We chat with the sushi chef, who is from Burma; and he calls it Burma, not 


Myanmar. His smile engages his whole face.  We invite him to play table tennis 


with us but he works most every night.  I wonder where his joy comes from. 


 

It is almost dark as we get back on our bikes and head home.  We glance in the 


direction where we’d seen the dark skinned stranger.  We barely make him out in 


the fading light.   I see the white of his cloth lying flat on the ground.  He is 


sleeping on the grass?  Paul and I pull over, get off our bikes, and lean them 


against a tree.



 

I whisper to Paul,  “I think he is asleep.”  Paul says, “If the police see him, they 


won’t let him spend the night here.  Each sentence is almost a question.   Paul 


gently touches the man’s shoulder and wakes him.  The stranger calmly opens 


his eyes.  I wonder where his calm comes from.


 

His face is elegant and timeless. I have no idea how old he might be.  He 


searches our faces and says something in another language, maybe some African 


language.  We tell him that he should not sleep here.  He doesn’t understand.  We 


mimic authority telling him to go away.  


 

We invite him to come with us.  Paul and I, without talking it over, just know to 


do this.  It feels somewhat risky, but if feels right.  

 


The man has been listening closely but doesn’t say anything.  Paul and I don’t 


know how much he understands so we say the same thing again, slowly.  He says 


something but we don’t understand.  We start again.  We tell him our names.   


Paul and I make it clear that we want him to come with us.  The stranger smiles 


so we think he agrees.  


 

I race my bike home to get our car while Paul stays with the man.  We live less 


than a mile away.  I tell Casey, my daughter, what we are up to, and quickly drive 


back.  The men are sitting together in what looks like silence.   I pull up and they 


get in. 


 

We drive home with few words, just enough to affirm a plan.  I feel like we have 


an astronaut in the car, or Gandhi.  I have the feeling of a Holy Experiment.  


Standing together in our backyard, I invite the man, in what I imagine is fluent 


sign language, to shower, have some food or tea.  


 

He smiles wide, shakes his head no, and stands there, poised and attentive.  I go 


inside and get him a jar of water.  He smiles, gleaming white teeth and peaceful 


eyes.  We say our versions of “Goodnight”.  The stranger wrapped in white cloth 


and probably nothing else, heads toward the tent that Paul has just finished 


setting up.  

 


 “Mom, are you crazy!” Casey, a senior in high school, is in the kitchen waiting 


for us as we come in.  She’s been watching from the window.  I vouch for her 


safety and dramatically lock the back door.  

 


It’s late.  I go upstairs and look out my bedroom window.  The man is wrapped in 


the white cloth right outside the tent on the tarp.  

 


I am startled by the grace and mystery I feel as I watch the man curled up in the 


moonlight.  I feel a peace, a grace in this man’s presence.  Sheltering him in our 


backyard feels like we are sheltering Jesus.  

 

Just before sunrise I wake, get out of bed, and look out the window.  

 

He is gone. 




 Three Vignettes by Diane Rhoades 
 The Boy on the Bike  
The truck pulls out from the STOP sign.  The young boy on the bike zips through the intersection.  They collide.  The impact is “soft” but enough to knock the boy off the bike.   He scrambles to his feet, gets on his bike, and rides off.  The driver sits in the cab of his truck.  He makes no attempt to get out, to call after the boy,  make sure he is OK.  He pauses and drives off.  I memorize his license plate. 

If the boy had been white…if the pick up truck and the boy and the bike and the man had this unfortunate collision in a prosperous neighborhood and not on 7th Ave, I wonder how this would have played out?  

Would the child have scrambled back onto his bike and ridden away as if he had done something wrong?  Would he have allowed himself a moment to recover - anticipated that the man who hit him would want to make sure that he was OK?  

It feels like a crime now; not an accident.   I walk to my car dazed; the only witness.

The Woman in the White Caddy  
She is movie star beautiful.  Stopped at a light, I look across and catch sight of her.  I am taken with her unusual beauty.  Her thick jet black hair is pulled back revealing a widow’s peak.  Her sculpted cheek bones are etched into flawless white skin.  Her red lipstick is dramatic. She could be a country western singer.  Maybe she is married to a Texan oilman.  She turns, rolls down the window and spits a wad of chewing tobacco onto the street.  

Wow.  I didn’t see that coming.

Throwing Things
I wander around in the heat of a packed Belle Cher Wall St. when I see the cage.  A man in a Speedo bathing suit is sitting on a metal tractor seat inside the cage above a giant tank of water.  He is inviting people to pay $3 for three shots at dunking him. In a heartbeat, I am on that line with my dollar bills.  I watch kids throw their balls - looking like they are at risk of dislocating arms in their enthusiasm.  A couple shares their three opportunities to dunk the man.  Nothing.

Speedo Boy revs up his rant.  “Come on!  What’s wrong with you?  Put on your glasses! Shoot!  I’m hot.”  I am next.   I throw the first ball and ace it.  He is in the water.  Cheers!  Back on the seat, dripping wet, he threatens me to do it again, I hit it dead on. He is in the water.  I feel like a contestant in So You Think You Can Throw.  “No way you will get me under again!  Come on.  Let’s see you cave!”  I throw my last ball.  Bull’s eye!  He is laughing.  I feel like I won that skinny, wet man.  I look up and see Jim Stowell in the crowd; smiling at me.  I have a witness.   


    
Intimate Moments by Lynn Fink
I am free. I spin and spin, fall down laughing. It is so much fun. Look how fast I can run. Fast as the wind, Mommy says. Zip, zip, around the bases.  Haha, home run.

I love my overalls and sneakers. I climb the willow tree. I hide there for a long time. I hang upside down on my branch. Look - everything is upside down!

Oh, Purrlite has kittens. They are so cute. They climb all over me. I hold Tiger up for Mommy so she can take a picture. He is almost as long as I am.

I have my fishing gear on. I hold my rod. I have my basket hooked to my belt. Ready to go over to the creek. We fish for trout, but I catch a sucker. Boy do their mouths look funny. I put it back.

The spring springs. Pussy willows are so soft. I explore in the swamp. My boot gets stuck in the yucky stinky mud. My foot comes out of the boot when I try to pull my boot out of the muck. I put my foot on the ground and pull my boot out with my hands. Oops, my sock is pretty dirty.

It is fall. All those leaves. Grandpa makes a big pile and I jump in. I jump in a lot. We both laugh really hard. He pulls me around in my red wagon. I like the smells as we rake. I like the smell as we burn the leaves. But it is very hot if you get too close. My arms and face hurt from the heat. I back away.

I find milkweed pods. They are starting to open. They are so soft. I pull one apart. There are seeds on one end of the fluffy stuff. They start to blow away. I watch them blow away in the wind.

Some sticky things stick to me. They are all over my clothes. Mommy and I pull them off. It takes a long time. I get burdock stuck on me. I try to pull it off too. It tears apart.  Half of it stays on my pants.

 I love my tall rubber boots for the snow. I wear two or three pairs of socks. The boots are black with a red band around the top. I go in deep snow with them. It is too deep, the snow comes in my boots. I get cold. I lay in the snow and eat it. I make a snow angel, but then start on a fort. That’s more fun.

I go across the street to visit Star and feed him a carrot. He is big and smells good. I hold my hand flat like Karen taught me. Star’s lips feel funny on my hand. Sometimes Karen lets me ride him in the summer. One day they have a horse show in their corral. I watch.

We are in the pet parade. We have Tiger and Purrlite in a hospital in the red wagon. They have bandages on. They keep trying to get the bandages off.

Mommy makes a jack-o-lantern totem pole. I am a skelton. I get lots of candy.

Daddy puts me up on his shoulders. Wow, this is high. This is fun. I rub his crew cut. He laughs. He dances with me. I stand on his feet and we spin all around the kitchen. I sit in his lap after dinner. He smokes his pipe. I try to put my finger in his smoke rings.

We take care of a Lassie dog. I lay down on the floor too and put my head on her belly. She runs away. We try to find her for the people that own her.


I love my stuffed animals. They all have names. I talk with them and feed them. My best friends are Judy Reed and my imaginary friends. My imaginary friends are real because they show up at the Lake. Mommy is surprised. So am I. They are supposed to be at home taking care of my stuffed animals.